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63 Ways to Become More Confident

December 22, 2011


Confidence is a tool you can use in your everyday life to do all kinds of cool stuff, not least to stop fighting with yourself and freely plug into the things that matter to you.

Here are 63 things YOU can do to be more confident.  Pick a couple that jump out, give them a shot and let me know what happens.

  1. Sign up for that evening class and enjoy it.
  2. Ask your partner or best friend what you can do for them today.
  3. Hit the gym.  The physiological effects will leave you feeling great.
  4. Go to a networking event and focus on how you can be helpful rather than being nervous.
  5. Get crystal clear on the things that truly matter to you.  If they’re not in your life, you need to bring them in.
  6. Write a list of the things you’re tolerating in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimize or diminish each one.
  7. Look at a great win or success you’ve experienced and give yourself credit for your part in it.
  8. Next time you’re at a social event, don’t just stick with the people you know – have a conversation with someone you don’t know and you never know what – or who – you’ll discover.
  9. Next time you talk yourself out of doing something, say ‘What the Hell’ and go do it anyway.
  10. Do one thing each day that makes you smile (inside or out).
  11. Learn the 7 biggest confidence mistakes, and then fix ‘em.
  12. Ask out that girl or guy you fancy the pants off (only if you’re single, don’t want to get you into trouble).
  13. You have to keep your mind well fed, so write a list of 20 things that keeps your mind feeling nourished and make sure you’re giving them room.
  14. Stop squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect you to act like.
  15. Catch yourself every single time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get or aren’t good enough to get what you want.
  16. Take yourself off auto-pilot – make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.
  17. Next time you come up against a risk or a challenge, listen to yourself and see how that dialog can be improved.
  18. Scared of looking silly? You and everyone else.  It’s no biggie so don’t let it stop you.  Say it with me – “It just doesn’t matter.
  19. Don’t think for a second that you can’t be confident.  There are already loads of things you do with true self-confidence, you just have to notice them and get familiar with how it feels.
  20. Listen to your doubts – they’re there to let you know what you need to prepare for.  Use them to your benefit as you move forwards.
  21. Think of a time when it felt like a whole bank of switches in your head flicked to the on position.  What were you doing and what’s the reason it felt so great?
  22. You’ve got a whole bunch of out-dated rules that determine what you do or don’t do.  Tear up your rule book and notice how free you are to make great decisions.
  23. Sweep aside the roles and labels you slip into without thinking, and just be you instead.
  24. Look at how you’re using the 5 Principles of Self-Confidence in your life.
  25. If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on.
  26. Flirt.  It’s a harmless way to play around with connecting with people and having fun.
  27. Reveal a little bit of the real you in a relationship that might feel like it’s in a rut.
  28. Notice and welcome all of your experiences – the good stuff as well as the bad stuff.
  29. Always recognise that you’re more than a match for any situation you might find yourself in, no matter how tough the going gets.
  30. Don’t get swept up in the drama of what’s happening right now, look for more useful ways of engaging with what happens in your life.
  31. Don’t automatically give in to the instant pay-off – it often means you’re selling yourself short.
  32. When you feel like stamping your foot and yelling “I deserve better than this!”, take a step back and say “I can BE better than this.
  33. Confidence sometimes means admitting you’re wrong – always be ready to hold your hand up and change your mind.
  34. Trust your instincts.  They know what they’re talking about.
  35. Fear is a way of letting you know that you’re about to stretch yourself and grow your confidence.  Use it to take yourself forwards rather than run away.
  36. Imagine you’re visited by a successful, confident, attractive and vibrant version of you from the future, and listen to what they want to tell you.
  37. Don’t feel like you have to do everything yourself – sometimes the most confident thing to do is ask for help.
  38. Take a chance on something tomorrow.  Anything, big or small, just take a chance.
  39. You need to be around people who make you feel like YOU, so spend more time with the people who support and encourage you and less with those who undermine you.
  40. Stop struggling against the things you don’t like in your life – create an environment around you that flows and allows you to be you.
  41. No man’s an island, and you need to participate in the world you around to feel confident.
  42. Do something bold in the face of your challenges and fears.
  43. Work on developing the skills you need to win at the things that matter to you.
  44. The body is a mirror for the mind, so shifting your body into a confident state can have surprising results.
  45. Don’t get disheartened or demotivated when you get to 90% with something you’re working on – push through and you’ll see that the last 10% is where the magic happens.
  46. Keep comparing yourself to others?  Stop it, don’t try to validate yourself through comparison – you’re just peachy as you are.
  47. Put your head above the parapet at work and speak up if there’s something you think could be improved or if you have an idea you think has legs.
  48. If there’s something you’ve been struggling to understand for a while, stop trying to understand it.  Accept it just as it is, fully and wholly.
  49. Shy with new people?  Not a problem, that’s allowed.  Just don’t overthink it, start beating yourself up or thinking you’re less than because you’re shy – the more you think like that the worse it gets.
  50. Your environment directly impacts your self-perception, so if you’re surrounded by clutter, paperwork and rubbish put a morning aside to clean up your stuff and get organised.
  51. Write yourself a daisy list and start making things happen.
  52. Don’t make your happiness or self-worth dependent on being in a relationship or being validated by someone else.  Find your inherent value first, and your relationships and confidence will be immeasurably better.
  53. Your strengths can be used to overcome any of your weaknesses.  Don’t let them undermine your confidence.
  54. The longer you leave that big thing on your to-do list the more it’ll drain you and the bigger it’ll seem – get it done and free yourself up.
  55. What golden threads, themes, patterns and passions have always been in your life?  If those things aren’t present in your life right now, you need to shift your priorities.
  56. Your body image does matter, because if you have a bad relationship with your body you won’t be feeling confident in yourself.  Get trim if you need to, just make sure you get along with your body.
  57. Get the Truly Confident Living Home Study Course and dive right in.
  58. Try a new path.  The well-trodden paths of your life can easily turn from familiarity to apathy and disconnection.  A new path wakes you up.
  59. Don’t say “Yes” to taking on a task simply because you don’t want to rock the boat – you can politely decline requests you can’t meet and don’t need to create an excuse for it.
  60. Look at the people you respect who seem confident – don’t copy them, but identify what do they do differently that conveys confidence and what you can learn from it.
  61. Make a plan to do something, then follow through.  Achievement gives you important self-reinforcement.
  62. When you feel yourself focusing inwards and becoming paralyzed with doubt or fear, switch to focusing outwards at what you can engage and interact with.
  63. Still beating yourself up for failing or screwing up? It no barrel of laughs, so it’s much better to recognize that everything, whether it turns out or not, is practice in living a rich life.


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